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Wasting time

Each day you’re given 86,400 seconds from the Time Bank. Everyone is given the same. There are no exceptions. Once you make your withdrawal, you’re free to spend it as you want.
The Time Bank won’t tell you how to spend it. Time poorly spent will not be replaced with more time. Time doesn’t do refunds.
Time is your biggest gift. Indeed, it is more valuable than money as you can make more money, but you can’t make more time. But there is one simple truth: Your time is limited. And one day you will go to the bank and it won’t have any more for you. And it will be at that exact moment that you will know the answer to this simple question: Did I use my time well?

I came across that excerpt, from a book by David Hieatt, last week while I was off work. I’d decided to book the 4-days off after Easter, giving me a whopping 10 days straight out of the office.

The passage particularly resonated as I’d decided to have time off, but not to go away and by the end of the week I started wondering if staying at home was really a good use of all that lovely free time. Was just mooching around the house and doing chores really the best way to unwind and relax? Is watching ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ fun or futile (don’t answer that one)?

Turns out it’s quite hard to get that holiday feeling when you’re sitting in the queue at the tip 🙂

But thinking about it, it dawned on me that actually I’d done loads of things, and very slowly and without realising it, I was gradually unwinding and resetting my body clock and my mental health. It was only going back to work today that made me realise how rested I was, and how much I needed that first time off since Christmas.

Some of the stand out moments of the week were:

Rediscovering the joy of a long hot bath – I bought some pink Himalayan salt and spent several hours luxuriating in it with a face mask, a magazine and a glass of bubbles/cup of tea at regular intervals, followed by lots of lathering on of moisturiser – something I rarely get to do after the early morning quick shower. My skin is thanking me for it and my year-old magazine pile has gone down dramatically. Definitely planning on keeping this up with at least one salty bath a week!

Decluttering – an iminent (well, Summer) house move is forcing me to think carefully about the things I own. We are moving into a brand new house, so I have decided that I am not taking any yellow furniture (pine/wood) or anything that I don’t love. I spent a very productive morning clearing out cupboards and donated 5 large black bags to the local Scope charity shop – with an equal number going to the local recycling centre.

Seeing my parents – a relaxed visit for lunch, which meant I could travel out of Saturday rush/shopping hour and spend time with Mum and Dad. I went home with more things than I’d arrived with (see ‘decluttering’ above), but one of them included a gorgeous pair of black glass Chopard sunglasses. I tried to resist, but she forced me to take them…honestly 🙂

Ditchling Museum – on Friday I took myself off for lunch and a visit to the Ditchling Museum of Art and Craft, which is about 20 minutes away. Ditchling is well known for its art and design heritage and possibly its less well-known pubs. The Bull does a great lunch, and I sat at the bar on my own reading and enjoying a glass of wine and thinking just how lovely it was.

With dinner at Nobu, lunch at The Chilli Pickle and some ace cooking (roast spring lamb and beef cheek cottage pie were highlights) I also ate well, cycled 17km on a stationary bike (not all at the same time), got my nails done, drove around a lot singing to Absolute 90’s, ate ramen, took photographs and got lots of lovely sleep in.

So, did I use my time well? D’you know what, I think I did – without planning any of it. Though I can’t wait to go to Spain next weekend – there’s only so much staycating a girl can do…

9th April 2018

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Oh Hai

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I wrote anything – 3 months! I’m feeling very rusty. It’s not that my ramblings cover anything particularly earth-shattering, it’s more that it is a stark reminder to myself of how long it is since I sat down with some time to spare and created something. It’s about the same amount of time since I picked up my camera, so I definitely need to get back into the habit.

There’s way too much to catch up on all in one go, so I might save the big things for posts of their own. But a whistle-stop tour of the past 3 months includes Christmas parties, Christmas lunches and a Christmas break to Marbella.

There have been some fun days and fun nights out, some cosy days and cosy nights in, my first bottomless brunch, my 4-year anniversary at work, and of course, some cocktails. There also seems to have been quite a lot of rain.

It’s been extraordinarily busy at work, but I’m hoping to get a little bit more organised and carve out some time again for doing the things I love. This quick post is dipping my toe back in, and reminding myself. It’s always easier when the weather is better, and at least coming into March we know that Spring is on the way. Just this really cold snap to get through first!

25th February 2018

Live

Confetti

Shot of the Summer. Caught offhand on the Kings Road, coming out of Chelsea Registry Office. She look so happy, and the colours are so vivid. I wish I’d been quick enough to take more than one shot.

25th September 2017

Live

Missing out

I’d planned to do loads of things in July. What I hadn’t planned on, was getting ill and having to cancel pretty much all of them.

At the beginning of the month I had my penultimate tattoo appointment, at least for the near future. Valerie, who does my tattoos won’t be working from September for 3 months at least, so with a few intensive 4-hour sessions, it brought to a natural conclusion the work we have been doing over the past year. My sleeve is nearly finished, just one gap to fill and a few touch-ups and embellishments to do on my back and we’re done. I didn’t set out to have a full sleeve, but once the tops of my arms were done, it seemed like a natural extension – and I love it. More about that once it’s finished.

I had the tattoo on the Friday and started feeling under the weather over the weekend, and right into the week, getting worse as the week went on. I had a working dinner with colleagues at Iberica on the Wednesday night, and just thought it was a touch of flu/general under-the-weather-ness. By the time Friday came, I knew it was more than that.

I had tickets to the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition on the Friday afternoon, and despite feeling pretty rotten and having developed a hacking cough, I took myself off for a look round. However, by then I knew that I was ill so I cancelled my plans for the weekend, as I was due to attend a two-day course and I knew there was no way I could get through that. I’d booked an Introduction to Coaching course with The Coaching Academy and was really, really looking forward to it so was pretty upset to cancel. Luckily they’ve let me rearrange to a date in August, so all is not lost.

I was also booked on a British Red Cross First Aid Course for last week, a 3-day intensive training session that results in an accreditation as a registered first-aider. We needed someone at work to volunteer and I figured it’s a valuable skill to have. Not only that, it might help me with some of my squeamish issues about the body! However, by Monday morning it was clear all was not well. I could barely leave the bed or sofa and had no energy and a worrying cough.

Looking up all the symptoms and advice online it seemed that I had viral bronchitis. The advice is plenty of fluids, ibuprofen/paracetamol and rest – oh and that you don’t need to see the doctor for a viral condition. So I stayed on the sofa for 3 days flat. Well, not flat actually, as the cough meant I couldn’t actually lay flat without almost choking to death. At one point, I was really worried that I couldn’t breathe and although in some ways I felt a bit better, by Thursday it was obvious I needed to see the doctor. A phone-call to the surgery got me a telephone consultation and a same-day appointment. It’s the first time in all the time I’ve lived here that I’ve needed to use my local doctor and I was mightily impressed with the speed. The phone consultation is such a good idea to triage people.

The doctor pretty much immediately diagnosed a chest infection and prescribed antibiotics. She scared me a bit saying if it got worse over the weekend they’d look to take me into hospital for IV antibiotics, but by Saturday morning I was feeling better than I had all week – coughing less, though still badly at night – and was even up to a trip outside the house, my first in 8 days other than the cab to the doctors. Never has a trip to the supermarket seemed so exciting!

But there’s one other thing I had to cancel. Today I was meant to be doing the Race for Life with my two friends Mel and Katie. I was really looking forward to it and was sure I’d be fine by then. But all I managed today was a brief trip to Rottingdean to get some sea air for an hour and more resting on the sofa.

I’m desperate to get back to work and get back on with life. The First Aid course has been rescheduled to October, so I haven’t lost the opportunity and there’s always next year for the Race for Life. Hopefully, if I can now recover properly with the drugs doing their job, I’ll at least be able to go to the Friday Summer Party for a few hours at the end of the week. Fingers crossed.

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23rd July 2017

Live

The one where I nearly gave an injection!

I’ve been phobic about injections and hypodermic needles for as long as I can remember. Well, since I was hospitalised with pneumonia at the age of 5, which is pretty much the same thing. You dont need a psychiatry degree to realise that the two thing are related. Being given regular jabs of penicillin is also a pretty hardcore way to find out you are allergic to it.

So, since then, having any type of injection has always been a bit of a trial. Some have been worse than others – I choose my dentists based on their approach to pain jabs, but in-and-out travel clinics are less accommodating of panic attacks! Trypanophobia (as it is known, amongst other things) is pretty common, though hard to get specific statistics on. There is even some evidence cited in a pionerring paper on needle phobia by Dr. James G. Hamilton that it has an evoloutionary basis. I suppose it makes some sense that humans would try to avoid ‘stab’ wounds and skin punctures, or at least be stressed by them.

Basic research (Google, obvs) tells me that my type of phobia is ‘associative’ or ‘classic’. This is where the phobia is linked specifically to a painful medical procedure or experience and is the second most common type.

The second type of needle phobia is the classic phobia. This results from a early traumatic experience during a medical needle procedure. In the case of needle phobia, it is usually a medical event that occurs between the ages of roughly 3 and 6 years.
needlephobia.com

So I’m in good company, with this affecting a large percentage of needle phobics. I don’t like having injections, being near injections, looking at needles, or even seeing them on the TV. And for those who say ‘but you’ve got loads of tattoos’, this is a completely different thing. Tattoo needles don’t penetrate in the same way, they don’t inject deep into the skin and they don’t feel anything like an injection.

So, what’s the point of telling you all this? Well, last week I NEARLY GAVE AN INJECTION.

Only nearly, mind.

My Mum had to go into hospital at short notice for some surgery. The surgery was planned, but the timing of it wasn’t – they decided at 4pm the day before to whisk her in at 7.30 the next morning. So, it was all a bit of a whirlwind. Luckily, it was day surgery and as everything had gone well, she was allowed out that evening. I went to the hospital in the afternoon to see her and to pick her up.

She was a bit fragile and a bit woozy but quickly started to improve and within a short time they confirmed she could be discharged – we just had to get the meds and do the paperwork. So, pain relief as expected and then the nurse almost casually dropped in the bit about 2 weeks worth of injections, the first of which to be given that evening, in the stomach.

Neither of us were quite sure we had heard correctly, but yes, it’s something that protects against DVT and has to be given when the patient is not able to move around. The syringes come pre-filled with the correct dose and are ready to roll. All you have to do is inject them. All. You. Have. To. Do.

Now, clearly, it is much, much worse for the person having the injection, and I understand fully how having a fear of needles is a bit silly at my age, but this was a pretty surprising turn of events, to say the least! This was the first time I ever had to hold a syringe, let alone actually stick it in someone! Firstly, while they talk you through how to do it before you leave the hospital, the simple fact is that sticking a needle into someone’s skin is not something that comes naturally. Or without, ya know, specialist training. Especially hard, I think, when it’s your Mum and she’s just come out of surgery.

Secondly, they didn’t really say how quick or slow to do it. Either the sticking bit or the plunging bit (it’s making me feel a bit weird even just writing this), so while I did actually get the needle out of the packet and hold it, when it came to it I just couldn’t do it. It felt so alien and so like I could get it wrong that I froze. My Dad, who is much stronger than me, had to take over.

Poor Mum, a week and a bit on sounds like she’s feeling like a pin cushion (two weeks is a LOT of injections), though is recovering well. Me, well, I’m hardly cured of my phobia, but I did hold a needle, and look at it and seriously consider doing it. A few years ago it feels like that would have even been much more difficult. So, progress, of sorts!

My lovely Mum.

14th April 2017

Live

Photography Course London

While we were in Hong Kong at Christmas, it occurred to me that we never take a camera on holiday anymore. Or anywhere. Obviously we’ve got cameras on our phones and obviously I am always snapping all sorts of nonsense to stick on Instagram, but the (quite expensive at the time) DSLR camera we have at home sits in its bag, never leaving the house. There were so many amazing sights on that holiday which could only really be captured with justice by a decent camera with actual settings, that it made me realise that even if I had brought the camera with me, I don’t actually know how to use it.

A shout out on Twitter and a few course providers were quickly recommended. I liked the sound of the Photography Course London’s ‘Intense Foundation of Digital Photography – Level 1’. It looked comprehensive and even better, it was a Saturday course. With all the best intentions, I know that it is impossible to do anything intense after a day’s work, so a Saturday suited me perfectly. I booked up. The course is aimed at ‘complete beginners who own a Digital SLR camera and want to maximise its potential’, so it sounded perfect. I didn’t want anything with post-production as I can learn that from Madge (or make him do it for me…!!)

We had to bring an image along for discussion, so I set off bright and early up to Shoreditch with my camera, my 2 images (I couldn’t choose) and a notepad. The course is set in a small classroom environment, with everyone around a long table. I think there were 11 people; it’s nice that the classes are kept small, because it means that there is time for questions and it doesn’t feel too rushed.

Once we had all talked through our images we got on with the learning. The course itself is very much focused on how the camera works – the basics of getting the camera off the ‘auto’ settings and starting to understand how you can change things to get the best picture. There was a lot to take in and at some points it felt quite overwhelming. I felt a definite dip after lunch and by the time we got to fully manual settings at the end I was a bit at maximum information overload. But there were lots of very helpful and practical set up routines and tips. It was great to learn how to take depth of field pictures, as these are a particular favourite of mine.

There is not that much actual taking of pictures on this course, the focus is definitely on the theory and mechanics, though we did get out a couple of times for some shots in the courtyard.

It was a very cold and rainy day, so it was quite hard to enjoy the outside bits and we weren’t able to be out too long really. By the later point of the afternoon we were losing the light. We also took shots in the classroom, of eachother and of props – trying out the different settings and techniques we were being taught.

I really enjoyed the day. It was quite tiring and it is very intense. I’m glad I took lots of notes but I think I’d also like to buy a good book, to read and practice with in my own time. I’d definitely recommend the course, although if you are looking for a creative photography lesson this is not it. I might look at a follow up session in a few months, once I’ve got some practice under my belt. With a short trip coming up, I should get plenty of chance for that. This time, the camera is definitely coming 🙂

For those interested, the course covered:

Buttons and functions
Menus and settings
Aperture
Shutter-speed
ISO
Exposure
Introduction to White Balance
Auto Focus and Focus Points
Manual Focus
Exposure compensation and exposure lock
Basics of RAW
The light meter
Metering modes
Aperture and shutter speed priority
Manual mode
Depth of Field
Freezing and blurring motion
Basics of composition
Optimising the camera settings

All pictures here are all as they were taken – no colour correction or post production, all I’ve done is resize them for the internet.

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26th March 2017

Live

2017 – here we come

Ok, so it’s a bit early, but I never like to let the opportunity to buy good stationery go past! I love my Crispin Finn wall planners – I like to buy one every year and can’t wait to start plotting on it all the plans for the coming year. It’s also so good to look back over it and see all the things I did.

I’ve ordered the 2017 version already, unfortuntely I’ve only got enough wall space for one at a time, so it will be a while before I can put it up.

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31st October 2016

Live

De-stress

These all make perfect sense, though I’m not sure where I’d fit any work in if I did all of these 🙂

I suppose an aim to do at least one a day would be a place to start…

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30th October 2016

Live

Sunrise over Blackfriars

One benefit of going to work early in the Summer months is arriving in town just as the sun is rising over The Thames. There’s a perfect view downriver to Tower Bridge from the station at Blackfriars.

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11th October 2016

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